This is probably not one of the best days in my entire college year because of what happened earlier. In fact, I might go to school tomorrow knowing that my crush knows i like him. I'm am so totally dead.

Me and my classmates have this thing about the mirror on the girl's CR. During every break or every class we all go to the CR to refresh and to retouch. It's like a ritual or a routine maybe. No one leaves the building without going inside the girl's CR.

So, just like everyday, my classmates went to the CR. I didn't come with them because I had to talk with some friend about a project. After the chit-chat, I decided to go to the CR. That's when all the paranoia began.

On the way to the CR, I saw my crush together with all of his classmates walking on the corridor. We were walking at opposite directions and as a shy lil bitch, my tendency was not to look at any of them. Hence, I looked straight, down, up, at both sides but not to anyone of them. I passed by him and you know, I felt *kilig* like i'm a high school girl.

As I entered the CR, my classmates were there and I began telling them of what just happened on the corridor. Then they asked questions and I'm like... hey, keep it low, he might just hear you, he is freaking outside!!

FUCK. His girl classmate was beside me at the CR facing the mirror and she looked at me after I just told my classmates my crush was outside. She looked at me. Not in a very good way. Her look was awful like the oh-no-she-just-didn't-say-she-likes-my-classmate look. Or worse she meant the i-am-so-gonna-tell-my-classmate look. FUCK IT. I am such a klutz and I'm doomed!!

So when she looked at me with that awful look, my mouth just blurted out some sort of things like.. "hey, he seemed like a freshman, from the ICS department.blah blah".. Okay,my real crush is a 4th-year ********** major and not some little boy fresh from high school.

My only hope is that the girl would buy my freshman story. But what if she thinks I am an idiot , that i just confused her classmate (note: my real crush) as a freshman? Gawwwwdd..

When I say I could go to school knowing that my crush knows I like him, I mean my college life is screwed. It's not everyday that a random guy would know that a random girl likes him. It's not good. It's social suicide.

It's okay for guys to let the world know who their crushes are. But not for girls, especially for me. I am shy and self-conscious and I can't take it knowing that my crush knows I like him. I just can't.

I really hope that his girl classmate (CR girl) won't assume anything and if she does, i hope she'll just keep her mouth shut.

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I am in a horrible situation. There is a roach on my room. Not just a roach, a flying roach!! I bitch slapped it with a slipper and then it was gone. I can't tell if it's still inside my room. gawwwd... I am so gonna sleep in my mom's room tonight. If I could, I would kill all the roaches here in my vicinity. *sigh*

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At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say. They're what you do. Some things you say because you have no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.