Personally I don't talk about my love life, be it the past or the lack of it. It's just too complicated for me to tell. And I am not a good story teller. Sometimes I'd end up sending the wrong message thus people will either not get me or they'll be too bored to care. So I just prefer to shut up. Shutting up has its own rewards. For one, i can conserve the few memories I have left (FYI: I think I have short term memory). Shutting up also spares me the time to explain why certain things are the way they are. Lastly, it saves me from the emotional spikes and surges everytime I go back to memory lane. Nothing sucks like unresolved relationships --when there's no closure. So I have sworn not to tell anyone about the most complicated issue known to man, that is, my love life.
When I can't really help myself, I share my 'love life' with two types of people. One, the person who won't remember a thing. It's good to vent out my emotions to people whom I know won't remember anything. I mean it's fun. They're too busy to care about their own issues to even remember but still they're also too kind to listen to my endless illogical and sometimes surreal feelings. Pasok sa isang tenga, labas sa kabila.
The second kind of person is the real friend. The real friend is the one whom I can share everything with without him/her taking it against me. The one who does not pretend to know what I mean, because he/she too felt it one way or another. They're the ones who know, without me saying it, that every word that comes out of my big mouth is said in confidence.
I am saying all of these because earlier one of my classmates waved my ex-boyfriend's name in my face-- all caps, bold and embossed in 90 point black font.
SHE SAID HIS NAME.
In jolly, blissful, cheerful euphoric tone.
I'm like, okay, that was really unnecessary. I know you guys are acquainted but what the hell?? Don't you feel like that was a bit insensitive or harsh even? You know I don't talk about him because we're not in good terms nor are we civil when we see each other. You know we don't converse. Not even the words "Hi" or "Hello" are exchanged. We don't even raise eyebrows when we cross paths in school. You don't even hear me say his name. Don't you think it means I don't want to talk about him? Did it even occur to you that although we were not the best couples back then, the feelings I had for him were still real. And you clowning about our past is really not helping. I could take this all so subtle if it were just anybody, but from a friend?
She was right there in my face...
I hate situations like this when I can't control what I'm supposed to feel. I'm supposed to take it like it's not a big deal because really it's not. But I felt agitated. Maybe it's not the way how this person said his name. Maybe it was his name.
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This is the edited version... I didn't know why the said incident infuriated me that time. I shouldn't have felt that way since I usually don't. This was the first time it happened. Maybe I was putting our very inconvenient lack of civility in my head too much than I should be. So there. =D
When I can't really help myself, I share my 'love life' with two types of people. One, the person who won't remember a thing. It's good to vent out my emotions to people whom I know won't remember anything. I mean it's fun. They're too busy to care about their own issues to even remember but still they're also too kind to listen to my endless illogical and sometimes surreal feelings. Pasok sa isang tenga, labas sa kabila.
The second kind of person is the real friend. The real friend is the one whom I can share everything with without him/her taking it against me. The one who does not pretend to know what I mean, because he/she too felt it one way or another. They're the ones who know, without me saying it, that every word that comes out of my big mouth is said in confidence.
I am saying all of these because earlier one of my classmates waved my ex-boyfriend's name in my face-- all caps, bold and embossed in 90 point black font.
SHE SAID HIS NAME.
In jolly, blissful, cheerful euphoric tone.
I'm like, okay, that was really unnecessary. I know you guys are acquainted but what the hell?? Don't you feel like that was a bit insensitive or harsh even? You know I don't talk about him because we're not in good terms nor are we civil when we see each other. You know we don't converse. Not even the words "Hi" or "Hello" are exchanged. We don't even raise eyebrows when we cross paths in school. You don't even hear me say his name. Don't you think it means I don't want to talk about him? Did it even occur to you that although we were not the best couples back then, the feelings I had for him were still real. And you clowning about our past is really not helping. I could take this all so subtle if it were just anybody, but from a friend?
She was right there in my face...
I hate situations like this when I can't control what I'm supposed to feel. I'm supposed to take it like it's not a big deal because really it's not. But I felt agitated. Maybe it's not the way how this person said his name. Maybe it was his name.
++
This is the edited version... I didn't know why the said incident infuriated me that time. I shouldn't have felt that way since I usually don't. This was the first time it happened. Maybe I was putting our very inconvenient lack of civility in my head too much than I should be. So there. =D
Labels: Personal
posted by yhan at 9:16 PM