This is a very tiring Monday. I feel overwhelmed with events as well as with choices I have to make. MONDAYS never really appeal to me.

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SELF-FULFILLMENT OR JUST ANOTHER CASE OF IMPULSIVE THINKING?

My dilemma started last sem break when I did nothing but look for part-time jobs in Jobstreet.com. Aside from over-analyzing my schedule this second semester, I really had nothing better to do then. I even posted my schedule which obviously shows my super free time. It is one of the things I did during my sem break. Yes, I looked for work out of boredom. Or perhaps out of fear. Fear that if ever I am faced with yet another super free time, I'd start pulling out my hair and eat them one by one. eeew. morbid.

Yesterday, the company which I applied for informed me that I am qualified for an initial interview. So I went to their office today, sat in an interview with the HR officer, and was told that I am recommended for a final interview tomorrow. Damn, that was great. Being interviewed by an HR officer of a company always give me the thrills.

WHAT IS MY PROBLEM YOU MAY ASK?

First and foremost, the part time job requires me to work for a minimum of 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. I can do that absolutely. The schedule I picked is from 7am to 1pm. During normal days, I am still asleep within this hours. Which is why I think will not be that big of a deal. BUT, if i'm going to work from 7-1 then go to school from 4-8, I won't get enough rest. One reason that I wanted to get a job is to avoid myself from thinking too much about my future. I do my daydreaming everytime I'm physically doing nothing. With this schedule, there might be no more thinking AT ALL. My brain will not function properly by then.

Second, there is a bond of 6 months. It means I'll still be working for them a few months after my graduation. I really don't have any plans of working right away after graduation. But, the pressure I'm getting from my mom says the other way around. Also, if I fail to manage my time between work and studies, there might be no graduation AT ALL.

THE FUN OF HAVING A WORK.

The work that I applied for is a barista job. I have always wanted to become a barista ever since. It seems like what they're doing is so much fun. I mean, is there any job much easier and enjoyable at the same time other than making coffee? Plus, the great deal of people you will meet is incomparable.

THE CONCLUSION.

With the THESIS I am doing plus major projects and baby thesis which I will go face to face this semester, I will no longer pursue my 'barista career'. Seriously, I have very discouraging friends and family. They told me not to go after it since I might compromise my college life in so many ways. After all, they all have proven their points and it all seemed fair. They're a bunch of discouraging people with good intentions, I guess. SO. I. WILL. NOT.WORK. Maybe some other time. After my thesis perhaps.

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After that I went to Badminton City with my classmates and smashed shuttle cocks. With body pains that seemed to have surfaced almost immediately, I headed to my dentist to have my rubbers replaced. There are a few thing I regret, one of which is having these braces. Anyways, this concludes my MONfckngDAY. Hope your day's better than mine.

I think I should change the layout of my blog because it's too boring and the banner, which I took from google and edit it in a manner that fits my blog, doesn't really says anything about me or about my blog.

But maybe later when the burdens of the second semester slowly leaves my system. I already have a photoshop but somehow I still have to find time learning it all by myself.

Changing the layout of this blog is next to impossible because I have so many projects to deal with. Also, for the umpteenth time, I am on the verge of failing one subject which is a prerequisite of my internship. If I fail that subject, I will not be able to have my internship and I will be delayed for another year. 2 if i fail my thesis.

The second semester of every school year is really a bugger. All the difficult subjects are always assembled together in the second semester, always. It's never fails to make me feel the way I do this time of every year. I really hope I could get past this alive.

I have been telling myself that I should sleep early because nowadays i look 10 years older. There was a point in my life when my own mother tells me that I'm pretty and she wonders why does she have daughters who are beautifu. And just like what every mother would want to hear, I told her it's through the help of her genes. That was a loong time ago.

College is a whole lot of story. You know when you were a kid and you ask your mother or father which is more fun, highschol or college? They say college but you beg to disagree because you were still in high school and you know nothing about college. Trust me, when you get in college, there'll be some point when you wish you'd never graduated form high school.

Anyway, last week when my mom entered my room, she asked me a question that no one on the right frame of mind would want to hear. "Nagdrudrugs ka ba? Bakit ang itim ng mata mo? Tingnan mo ang pangit mo na, mukha kang drug addict. At chaka bakit gising ka pa ng alas tres ng madaling araw? Hindi ka ba natutulog? Nagdrudrugs na no?" And then the following day she saw a stool at the bathroom, "Bakit may silya sa banyo? Ano yung tinatago mo sa kisame?"

My mom is definitrely hallucinating but I can't blame her because there's no arguement that I, though i hate to admit it, look like a drug user. Maybe it's the connotation that if you are raccoon-eyed you might be a drug user because most drug users have big dark eye circles. It's what people thinks, and what my mom too.

I have raccoon eyes because I sleep very late at night, and not becauseI am a drug addict. lol. I sleep late at night because i'm constantly trying to chase college requirements. Studying for a quiz, for a major exam, building projects and the rest is dedicated for my own "worry time". I'm trying to sleep early, it's even on my resolutions list. I just can't. Hence, dark eye circles. =)